“As ‘objects,’ we remain unequals, inferiors. Even though
they may be sincerely concerned about racism, their methodology suggests they
are not yet free of the type of paternalism endemic to white supremacist
ideology. Some of these women place themselves in the position of ‘authorities’
who must mediate communication between racist white women…and angry black women whom they believe are
incapable of rational discourse.” bell hooks, Feminist Theory: From
Margin to Center
The double standard here drives me up a wall. Literally. I’m
typing this from the ceiling. It’s cozy up here. I know this book is “old” by
today’s standards (even though it looks young enough to be 20) but that makes
it no less relevant. I read those words and my blood pressure immediately shot
up. We (all women, perhaps especially Black women) have been raging against this idea that emotion negates
rationale for decades, centuries even. The hormones, oh the hormones, preclude our
better judgment. (It’s why the War on Women is seeking to limit our access to
birth control.)
Rather than arguing that I’m/we’re not angry – I’m choosing to embrace it. I’m calling upon my non/anti-feminist counterparts to cease invalidating my feelings/opinions/thoughts/ideas/existence on any issue just because of my emotional, Black or (ugh, the horror) vagina-ized state. I’m calling on my feminist compatriots who are melanin-deficient to help bring an end to this “angry black woman” stereotype – and help everyone recognize that there is nothing wrong with being angry and there is everything wrong with using a powerful tool of the patriarchy against other women. What is wrong is the marginalization of one socially, politically and economically "inferior" group by another, (slightly less) socially, politically and economically "inferior" one. I see this now not only as it pertains to the differences between black women and white women but the west and the non-west (i.e. Muslim women and non-Muslim women seeking to free Muslim women from their “shackles,”).
Rather than arguing that I’m/we’re not angry – I’m choosing to embrace it. I’m calling upon my non/anti-feminist counterparts to cease invalidating my feelings/opinions/thoughts/ideas/existence on any issue just because of my emotional, Black or (ugh, the horror) vagina-ized state. I’m calling on my feminist compatriots who are melanin-deficient to help bring an end to this “angry black woman” stereotype – and help everyone recognize that there is nothing wrong with being angry and there is everything wrong with using a powerful tool of the patriarchy against other women. What is wrong is the marginalization of one socially, politically and economically "inferior" group by another, (slightly less) socially, politically and economically "inferior" one. I see this now not only as it pertains to the differences between black women and white women but the west and the non-west (i.e. Muslim women and non-Muslim women seeking to free Muslim women from their “shackles,”).
Of course I'm angry. All the damned time and about so many things. But, I can be angry and know that 2 +2 = 4. I’m done
asking other people if I have the right to be in such an impassioned state. I'm embracing the fact that I do indeed own the right to live and feel as I choose. And I own that right in the face of men who think me inferior because of my impressive set of ovaries, and women who think me inferior because my hair is kinked and my skin has a year-round tan.
Our myriad struggles with the perfect body, control over our baby-making and sustaining machinery (both before and after giving birth - breastfeeding anyone?) our varying battles with
Darth Patriarchy (Vader’s distant cousin), our fight against gaslighting and so on are points of unity, not division. Unity, of course, does not mean minimization
of difference. It means creating a world in which women have the authority to
govern their own lives, wear their own clothes and be angry any time of the month they damn
well please.
When a man got angry some time around September 2001, he
launched an entire war that cost us countless lives. But his act was “rational.”
When I get angry, I’m PMSing, I’m irrational and my thoughts
on the issue are thereby irrelevant.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
I’m not saying
anything here that hasn’t been said before, I know this. But I guess this post
is really more for me and for those other women like me that get angry and then
second guess their anger as though there is something wrong with it. God gave
you anger. That’s how you know something is WRONG.
Now, I’m not saying that we should all go bat-shit crazy and
run over our significant other’s because they stole our twinkies and that made
us angry. I’m not saying we should all morph into Hulkina or Lady Hulk or
whatever the hell her name is.
What I am saying is that the next time someone tells you
that you’re “just angry” you should reply “And? Your point?” Because anger, or
any other emotion for that matter, doesn’t preclude or disrupt rationality.
Irrationality, however, does.
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